Sunday, August 12

I was in school last Thursday, on the way back from college, to obtain the final proof of my having passed the board exams. It was 3.45, and luckily, Mahesh Uncle, the unsung guy in the ofice responsible for handling documents, was still in...

I used the opportunity of an empty school to wander through the same corridors again, and while passing through the E,F-Blocks' first floor corridors, where IIT coaching classes are held, I experienced a sense of deja vu....wondered how much of me had changed...

Nelson Mandela had written, "It is only when we return to an old place that hasn't changed that we realize how much we ourselves have changed." I would be found sitting in those first floor rooms, trying to cope with life, until Wisdom awoke one day and reminded me that this wasn't what I wanted to be. I think the seed of Stephania, which had been sown by my class 9 Math teacher a couple of years before, was finally given a chance to grow when I left the IIT coaching classes...

I also visited what was my old classroom during the last DPS year....Fortunately, it was vacant. I went and sat on my old seat, and was surprised to know that I've grown taller since the showing-off-to-amrita-datta and arguing-with-gowri ramachandran days....

I was about to leave the school when I decided to visit the MUN room. Then I realized that it would be empty; why would they stay back till 4 PM? Well, another voice spoke, because the MUN training program is 2 days away. Ah!

The MUN room is on the second floor of the D-Block, and standing at a particular point, one can easily see its curtained windows. I confirmed that it was open by squinting at those curtains; they were swaying....I was reminded of a similar situation, exactly 2 years old, August 2005, when I had looked at the same curtains from exactly the same point, and made the same judgement. That time, I had been extremely nervous, self-alienated from the rest of the MUN group, nearing one of my moments of truth....I had just managed to hang on at that time, and yes, perseverance pays, and people understand.

Of course, I can no more identify with what I was then. Months of sleep deprivation and some other things had so eroded my faith in myself that I lived in constant fear of every action I took. It was, again, the leaving of the IIT coaching classes, which returned to me my "self".

So, the MUN room was open, and they were, as expected, very very happy to see me. A man who has made an unexpected decision is somewhat of a novelty, I realized....and it was great fun describing my stephanian experiences...and seeing them all work...ah! They are doing a very good job again, but, as we foresaw, it is largely only the two of them (aanya and sanjana) who seem to be doing all the work. I had observed the same thing at the time of deciding the agenda.

And then, it was au revoir, ma l'ecole....a bientot....